Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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