If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
