wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
