what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
