Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
