No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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