I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
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