i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
