Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
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