Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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