There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
