I want to stick my p in your. b.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
