please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
