Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
