U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
