I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
