Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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