Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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