Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
