i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
