dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
