the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
