First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I need water and some morals
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
