he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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