Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
