I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
