Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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