who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Im part way to drunk.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
