I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
