You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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