I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
