so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
