I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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