farters have to be the big spoon...
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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