moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
