Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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