you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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