i would punch a child for taco bell
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
