please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Randomize
