we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
