Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
