he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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