I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
