um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
