turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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