yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
