I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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