did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
