I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
