then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
