Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
