I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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